Yutori is defined as “a state with sufficiency and ease” (source). It’s been described as a sense of spaciousness, the abilty to let time pool around you. It allows for a sense of noticing, for a gentleness in the way we interact with our surroundings.
It’s already prompted for me a reflection on my rhythms and behaviors, at home and at work. I look forward to sharing what I learn as the year progresses.
In the meantime, a few resources on the topic I’ve found worthwhile:
It’s the start of a new month, at the the start of a new season. The spirit of change is in the air, bringing with it inspiration and energy. At times like these, my first instinct is to start afresh a new project or two.
But not this month. This month, I’m going to put that instinct on hold and instead focus on finishing the things I’ve already started.
Zombies are half-done projects or actions. They are neither fully dead, nor fully alive, but nevertheless very real and ready to suck the energy and focus from your space and your life.
Zombies distract and hold you back.
Luckily, killing zombies isn’t that hard. It usually takes two forms:
For those things you’re excited about: Finish them. Or at least make a plan on how you’re going to get them done. Recognize they’re worth the time and effort, and reignite your commitment to get it done.
For those things that you’re not feeling: Move on. Admit it, deal with it, and move forward guilt and shame free. Holding on will only hold you back, so don’t beat yourself up for deciding to changing course.
For me, I’m planning to finish a scarf for my daughter, finally finish the book Big Potential, and attempt a scrap fabric wall hanging I’ve been considering for some time. I’m planning to let go of the dream of knitting a baby sweater, put the idea of investing in a rental unit on ice (for the moment anyway), and get rid of the fabrics I’m not planning to use.
So go for it. Bust those zombies.
And get ready to focus more on the things you love.
Action
What are your zombies – ideas and actions neither dead nor alive, but vying for your attention?
For those that motivate you – create a plan on how to get it done.
For those in which you’ve lost your interest – admit it. Give yourself permission to move on. Do whatever you need to clear your space, schedule & head.
Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of “enough”…
So what is Enough, exactly?
Enough is the exact amount that provides fulfillment without excess. Less wouldn’t be enough, but more would be overkill. Like in the story of Goldilocks, it is the portion that is neither too hot, nor too cold. And the idea can apply to most things:
Enough salary
Enough house
Enough responsibility
Enough leisure time
And so on…
The concept is central in the book “Your Money or Your Life”, first written by Vicki Robin and Joe Dominquez over twenty five years ago. The authors argue that when your definition of enough is more than you have right now, you “condemn yourself to the experience of perpetual poverty.” Ouch.
But on the flip side, when you identify your enough, an organize your life in a way that aligns with that definition, you free yourself to find greater purpose and make greater impact in your life and in that of the community.
So, what’s your enough? You may find you already have it.
Actions:
Think about the categories where you spend most of your time and energy, e.g. your work (paid or unpaid), home life, hobbies, etc. For each, what would be “enough”? Consider in particular places where you currently feel unsatisfied, and be honest. For example, if it’s a promotion you’re after, would the promotion really be “enough”, or would it just trigger another cycle of desire?
Repeat the activity above, but this time thinking about the categories on which you spend most of your money, e.g. house, food, car, health care, travel, etc. Again, what is “enough”? Can you sense any spaces where you might have excess?
The next time you shop, think about the construct of “enough”… you may find you’re already at equilibrium.
Earlier this month my little family made a “Fall Dream Board.” We rolled out a piece of paper on the kitchen island, set out a stack of old magazines, and clipped and taped our ideas as the mood moved us. Here’s what we came up with:
Our Fall Dream Board
It was incredible to hear what activities were interesting to each of us, and why. My husband want to find tacos al pastor here in St Louis. My daughter wants to build a castle out of items in the recycling bin. I want to stare at fall leaves (preferably in a midi skirt). We want to spend time in Illinois, and pet goats (?!!)
Here’s the thing… besides ‘just’ being a fun family activity…
I’ve since found myself feeling more optimistic and inspired than I have felt in a long time.
What’s important is that I don’t feel pressure to actually do everything on the list; it’s a Dream Board, not a “To Do List”, after all. But still, keeping the ideas posted on the wall helps serve as a daily reminder of our hopes and hold us accountable.
I’m not sure where the quote came from, but “you can’t be what you can’t see.”
Allowing ourselves the space and time to dream a bit – and to really visualize those dreams – sets us up to make the choices and take the actions to make those dreams a reality. For me, I’m looking forward to a special fall season.
IDEAS TO ROLL UP YOUR SLEEVES:
Make a themed dream board – either alone or with family or friends. It could be a seasonal board, it could be focused on a goal you’ve set, it could be around travel, hobbies, career goals, whatever.
Notice what themes emerge: indoor vs outdoor, activities vs things, alone vs group, etc. What colors, materials, smells does it evoke? Reflect on what this means for how and where you choose to spend your time.
Now, look at your calendar. How might you preemptively align your calendar with your Dream Board? What activities do you need to say “no” to? What do you need to make space for?
Recently I was pondering how I’ve always wanted to be a writer. About how someday, somewhere, maybe, I’ll actually become a writer. And then it struck me… the only thing keeping me from being a writer is the simple fact that I wasn’t writing.
It’s that straightforward. Sometimes, the only gap between the person you are today, and the person you want to be, is that of ACTION. Luckily, the solution is equally straightforward:
Do the thing that makes you who you want to be.
How to be a teacher? Teach. A class. A friend. A YouTube video.
How to be a runner? Run. It doesn’t have to be pretty, or far. Just go.
How to be an investor? Invest. Open a Betterment account. Deposit $5.
You get the point. Whatever it is – channel all those Nike commercials and “Just do it”.
For me… I’m hitting “post” and committing to show up a couple times of week.
Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holy ground. There’s no greater investment.
Stephen R. Covey
Image by Marcus Spiske via Unsplash
Self-growth is work. It takes time, energy, focus. It can be tough, frustrating, infuriating. Progress is precarious. Backsliding, falling into old habits, coming up short – it happens. You’ll ask if the effort is worth it.
This is just a friendly reminder to be Gentle with yourself.
Be patient. Be understanding. Give yourself time and space. Because as Stephen Covey rightly observes, “There is no greater investment.”
Action:
When you find yourself being critical of yourself, speak to yourself like you would a good friend.
Celebrate succes. Focus on the progress you’ve made, not just on the way you still have to go.
What unrealistic expectations might you be harboring? How might you readjust your goals with more of a gentle approach?
How do you dream? Is it with a notebook and pen, tucked into a backpack, out on a trail? Or on the back of a napkin at the bar? With your earbuds in at Starbucks? Or on an elliptical? Is it in a long , long distance phone call (aside…are long distance phone calls still a thing?)? Or with your eyes closed as you drift off to sleep?
The point is… it doesn’t matter how, but rather if, you dream.
That is, if you regularly give yourself space to get lost in the “excitement of possibilities.” Because it is here – in the “leaps of imagination” – that new ideas are born, connections are made, plans are hatched. Never, ever, underestimate the importance of dreaming.
Action:
Reflect on your preferred method of dreaming: where have you had some of your best ideas in the past? Where do you feel your most relaxed, clear-headed, inspired?
Consider how often you’re carving out time to dream? Do you feel you’re giving dreaming enough time & energy? If not, what is getting in your way?
Consider how you can create and automate more opportunities to dream. How might you hold yourself accountable? Who might you enlist to help?
